When is scary, scary? And when does it become good?
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To answer the question we have to start at Scary number one.
This weekend we experienced –albeit through Rallystar sms and reports the Cyprus Rally. The selected few of course managed to get to the actual action, as you will see on a certain photograph.
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Ian and Doug talking Markko into packing his bag for the SA shores
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On Thursday evening last week I though it would be real silly to predict that we would be lucky to have one finisher on this rally, but with 20/20 hindsight it seems that it would have been closer to the truth than giving a few drivers a chance to finish the event, let alone who would win and who not.
Poor old Marcus predictably let fly from the word go and the only belt that was still on the car by the middle of SS1 was his kidney-belt holding up his overall that had a unfamiliar bag hanging behind him. I would also have kakked myself out of sheer frustration if I were he.
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Wonder why the car is overheating?
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Petter let fly, won the first stage, suffered overheating problems from then on and then withdrew the car to save it from further damage as under the new rules they have to use the same engine again next rally? Now that is ridiculous – or is it? The engine may have suffered damage already – and they have to use it again? Ag nee man – I don’t understand this anymore.
And so on and so forth the brave-hearts fell, but what was so scary? The rough roads? The heat? No sir and all the ladies who read RallyStar.
The scary part was the performance of the current world champion – whashisname – that French chappie who was lucky to win the WRC last year. The one that was so lucky he already won three in a row this year and based on his scary performance he is due to win every single one they manage to organise for the rest of the year.
Scary I tell you, especially when you have to beat him to get onto the top spot of the podium in events that get scary to look at the action on TV.
The only damage on that Citroën after one of the cruellest, roughest, most ridiculous rallies were that the sticker of the poor sponsor who paid a zillion bucks for that small spot at the bottom of the front bumper, was a bit spoiled.
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A master at work. Sebastien Loeb in the Citroen
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Duval had a similar car as the Frenchman – something he had on every event so far this year, but landed it on top of a scrap-heap again! This latest excursion must make him the one person in this world who will be able to describe thin ice to you!
So, it can’t just be the car, a fact that makes it even scarier is that it has to be that little Frenchman who looks more like an amateur boxer than one of the quickest drivers, if not the quickest in the world.
Have you seen that TV performance-comparison between him and I think it was Rovanpera – he is so smooth it looks like Ernie Els hitting a golf ball, and I thought I had some driving techniques sussed.
That was the first part of the Scare – not if you are a Sébastien Loëb fan, but if your are a Petter Solberg, Marcus Grönholm, Markko Märtin, Harri Rovanperä, Toni Gardemeister, Francois Duval, and maybe even a Blue Bull supporter. The dark horse in the picture is Markko Märtin – if Sébastien Loëb takes the bait or Petter Solberg gets lucky and he stays on the road, without his car being buggered up due to the familiar “electrical problems” where a rock rips out the computer harness, and Sébastien Loëb has to chase him, then Markko is going to become your new WRC champion. He will of course be the first reigning rally world champion without a drive for 2006, but that is something we will address when the time comes.
When is “scary” actually good?
Well, to tell you the truth, when organisers stuffs up so badly that even Badplaas without any structure, let alone infrastructure, starts to look inviting - then you must know that good has arrived - not if you are a Cypriot - but when you are a Southafripriot.
As you will know after reading about it on RallyStar, Topcar’s Kemsley and Schrosbree were seen hanging around the teams, FIA, and everybody else who were willing to speak, or mainly listen to them during the Cyprus Rally, and the moment could not have been more opportune.
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..they are from South Africa you say??
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Imagine, with every Tom, Dick, and his driver, being seriously pissed off with the incredible shitty conditions in Spain, how the two of them carried on about the smooth and beautiful fast roads snaking through the green sugar cane? The beautiful girls, the South African sunshine, the feel of Africa – by the sea, and all those wonderful things people only read about in Beeld but never experience when they actually hide in their hotel rooms if they do choose to live in mid Durban.
I can just hear Ian selling South Africa to the teams, “Listen I am telling you, your cars will be better than new, after our event, you will probably miss a few wallets, spanners, cell phones, and have to do a few handstands under the shower if you were brave enough to say to a smug looking Indian waiter ‘I say old chap, bring me a strong curry and all!’ Right? Right! as our Naas says, but the rest you will enjoy, and if you don’t believe me, ask Doug!” and to crown it all – he will not be lying at all.
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A typical Natal rally scene - with South African champion Serge Damseaux in his S2000 Castrol Toyota showing the fun you can have.
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Can you imagine the roar of those cars through the sugar cane fields, the incredible power and especially suspension set-ups that make F1 handling look mediocre in comparison, the ability of these drivers to use every millimetre of the road? It will be awesome - really AWESOME!
That is when scary becomes good.
Now however we have to get back to Scary part two or three – did we impress anybody during the Rally of South Africa?
I can unfortunately not say, as I did not attend the event, did not feel like going, and to tell you the truth had a pleasant weekend at home, as was suggested I should have by the CoC of the event awhile ago, and of course implied by some other – whatever.
Listening to Radio Jacaranda yesterday I heard of a competition where you need to compare a real person with a character of the latest Starwars movie – shit, do I have some perfect matches!
Anyway, I was therefore forced – albeit indirect, to depend on hearsay, and I have to say that based on that, I do not think we were that impressive. The event itself was rough and the finishing ratio not as high as one would have hoped for, but then you get those who feel that they need to test car, driver, team manager, and especially the sponsor’s patience to the limit. This need of course is based on their abundance of experience behind the wheel of a competitive rally cars, and on their knees in front of sponsors and bank managers, before they took on the very responsible job of organising rallies.
By the way the TV coverage of the night stages, even though slightly overdone was great, was it not? I mean no sponsor could have wished for better exposure, no crew could have wished for more fun, and as said on TV, they moved the night stages forward so that the first crews had the advantage – or something to that effect, I went to fetch another Oros and water as the gurgling of the water dispenser sounded good at that moment.
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Of course I packed a night stage or two - the kids will really like it!
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All I know is that if we did not impress the right people it will take a hell of a lot more than a visit to the WRC scene and some talking to get the event to South Africa.
Then again, when you do look at some of the decisions people sometimes make, it will be no surprise to me if we see the event sooner rather than later – especially after Cyprus. I get the feeling that the laid back attitude there was taken one small step too far, and the call of Africa rather than anything else may just pull if off for us.
Now that is scary as well – do we actually realise what we will be taking on? I am not suggesting that we cannot do it, but “we” include a few people in and outside of motorsport who seriously scare the hell out of me. The minute some of them realise the potential of an event of this underestimated magnitude – will be the moment I dread most, as a new deck of cards will then be dealt, a pack where you will count more Jokers than Jacks, Queens, Kings and Aces put together.
To the Topcar team – I can only say, good luck – if you pull it off, you will do more for the country – albeit good, bad or whatever, than that pack of cards put together.
Thinking about it, rather you than me - but hell - it will be great, actually the greatest!
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