FI "SPY" GIVEN JAIL SENTENCE
author: Leon Botha
The day Ferrari discovered a "strange powder" around the petrol caps of their cars…
"Hey what's this?" an engineer asked, tasting the tip of his finger after swiping it through a strange powder he found around the petrol cap of a R400m or so Ferrari F1 before the 2007 Monacco Grand Prix.
Sirens went off around the track and the sound of "Jingle Bells" could be heard from far as Inspector Clueso rushed to the racing track in his Fiat 1200 Abarth!
"Look zat strange powzer ees aroend thee petrolz cap of thee uther won too?" screamed another engineer of the Ferrari team.
Every one turned around and simultaneously lifted their left eyebrows while glaring at engineer Nigel Powders who was vigorously trying to shake a strange "sibtince frim hees picket" as Inspector Clueso would later tell the court…
Meanwhile in the McClaren pits Mike Coughlan was busy trying to eat up a 780 page report he received from "a contact" from the Ferrari camp moments before he was tackled right out of his engineer overall by a now worked up Clueso!
Then a sudden silence as the 5ft 2½inch Bernie Ecclestone and an FIA official walked up to the scene with an FIA Invoice book under each arm!
They looked around and wrote out an invoice for $25 000 to every spectator, $125 000 for every person who had a racing overall on, $126 666 to Inspector Clueso for farking around with a magnifying glass close to the Ferrari petrol tank in full sunlight, then gave a fart, blew a Vuvuzela and invoice McLaren for £63 million for having employees in both camps! The latter fine was in British pounds as the two Invoicers got slightly worked up!
This week poor Mr Stephen Powders entered into a plea bargain with the Italian prosecutor who were later seen in a popular Italian restaurant near the court trying to cash a £516 cheque after enjoying a splendid meal consisting of an unknown Anti Pasta, Meatballs and spaghetti, a fine wine and Italian Kisses.
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The McClaren accountant
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Powders will apparently not serve an one year and eight months sentence (that is 9 months per petrol cap) he was given by an Italian Judge as the Italian system only kicks in after you really piss off the Ferrari team by putting powder inside the tanks or after you receive a sentence of more than 15 years...or something to that effect?
Nigel "Powders" Stepney who consistently denied powdering around the petrol caps of the two Ferraris was not fined by the FIA as he was not a licence holder (I know of countries where that does not matter - they fine the whole family who attended a meeting) said through his attorney Sonia Bartolini (who else?) in a certain Afrikaans English accent they picked up during the latest World Cup where Mr Powders oiled the gravy trains while he was elsewhere unemployed, "We are very heppie!"
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Old Nigel Powders Stepney
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And everyone lived happily ever after until the next time someone does something worth invoicing!
What baffles my IQ of around … no lets not mention that interesting fact around here as I already have enough problems trying to argue a few very clear contractual points with certain incredibly interesting if not intelligent person(s) - anyway, what baffles this mind is why no one told us if any strange powder was found inside the tanks and what the hell the 780 page Ferrari report had to do with the powdering matter?
I mean did Powders powder around the caps of the red Ferrari's and then hand the report which he found lying around in the pits to McLaren or did he powder the report, dropped it on the tank, then tried to wipe the book instead of around the petrol caps before he gave it to McWhashisname??
Confusing? Yes but not bad reading for a Friday morning is it?
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